Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
