so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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