I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
