My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
