..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
