did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize