I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you win again, gameday.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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