To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
