FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
