and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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