i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
