Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
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