3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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