hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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