Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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