maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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