Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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