READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
