Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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