So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I still have a little drunk in my system
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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