I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
