My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
