I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
