MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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