I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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