So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
