he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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