If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
