The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
