My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
