im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
