she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
