if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
