Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
