im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Damn victory sex feels great
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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