next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize