she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
