You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
