In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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