He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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