I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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