That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
