Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
