well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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