I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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