Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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