Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You are the jesus of drinking
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
