Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
