waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
