I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
