You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
