It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
