if you like me you must not know who I am
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
