think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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