is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
