i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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