And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
