I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
