Define "chronic" masturbator.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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