Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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