You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
