his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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