i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
