I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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