i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
