So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
